Reflections

This has been a rough week. Some days have been worse than others. The last few days have been pretty good. I would have to say Wednesday would have to be the toughest of the week. I guess it was because it was the first day I had really been around other people (w/o being spaced out on pain meds) since the miscarriage. It is so hard to function normally when you are so very sad. It was all I could do to get through HOP practice.
Anyways, sad would be the word I would have to use to describe how I feel...very, very sad. Before when we would have a loss, I would feel betrayed by my body. I don't really feel that way this time. I don't know what caused this miscarriage...it may have been my chromosome abnormality or something else. We have never miscarried this early. But it doesn't really matter to me what the medical reason may be. I know that God had his reasons and I truly believe that it is for our best interest.
I know things are going to get better...it is just going to take time. We still want to have another baby...I would really like Brianna to have a sibling. However, if that is not in God's plans for our lives that is okay too. We decided that awhile ago. Brianna is such a blessing...we weren't even supposed to have her. If she is all we are allowed to have we could not be happier...and she will be extremely spoiled!